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Experience The Joy of Mutual Masturbation


 

 

*

You may be asking yourself, “mutual masturbation?”

 

Well, we all know that masturbation is something

you can do on your own, and if someone else is

with you in the room, then isn’t it just sex? This

is true, but masturbation is a type of sex too;

enjoying masturbation with your partner can

be a fantastic way to be very intimate, and

share exactly how each of you likes to be touched.

Like all sex, there is not just one way to do it,

but here are some tips just to get things started.

Remember, masturbation is sex, so this could be a quickie, or last an entire romantic night.

Here’s why you should be doing it:


Most of us carry feelings of embarrassment and shame when it comes to masturbation, so let’s talk

about the benefits of mutual masturbation. 

It’s a very good way to deal with the fact that you and your partner probably don’t have the same

kind of sex drives, which makes mutual masturbation a good alternative when one of you isn’t really

in the mood.

It also helps you learn what your partner really likes, and in turn, shows your partner what you like,

and really gets you going. 

It’s also a very personal part of who you are that most likely not a lot of people have seen, and can

be a wonderful and powerful way of sharing this very personal and intimate part of yourself. 

Here’s how you should start out:

 

1. Be comfortable with masturbating on your own!

The first step to sharing this with a partner is to be very comfortable doing it all on your own. This

could mean that you learn about masturbation myths, or just exploring it more by yourself. If

you’ve never thought of how you like to masturbate, take note the next time you do of specific

patterns or fantasies you like. The end goal is to be able to communicate either with words or by

showing your partner what it is that really gets your engine going, so you need to take time to figure

this all out for yourself first.

 

 

2. Wait until both of you are ready.

Don’t allow yourselves to be pressured into doing it. While mutual masturbation can really help to

enhance your sex lives, it can leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed, so you should only do it

when both of you are very comfortable with masturbation itself, and with each other. If you are

still feeling anxious about it, think of some small steps you can make to get there.

 

3. Talk about masturbation with your partner.


It’s always a good idea to talk to your partner before you try

anything new in the bedroom, so talk about masturbation!

While it’s likely most people continue to masturbate while in

relationships, most people continue to hide it from their

partner. You don’t need to get all serious or dramatic about

it, you could even start the conversation from the

perspective of just being curious, share stories of when you

first started masturbating, or how you learned to do it.

The whole point is just to get talking about it, and making it

a topic you both feel comfortable with it being out in the open.

 

4. Respect that masturbation is often a private affair.


That first time you masturbate with your partner , you will probably feel strange. We all have a

specific way we enjoy masturbating, and part of that is feeling alone, and enjoying a private

moment. A way to get past this for that first time is to close your eyes, or even use a scarf or

blindfold. When you close your eyes, it will be easier for you to become more comfortable in this

new situation. A lot of people find that this is the easiest way to masturbate while someone else

is there for those first few times.

 

5. Play nice and take turns!

The best things about masturbation in front of a partner, besides the results of masturbation, is the

fact that your partner is learning what turns you one, and vice versa. The both of you should have

opportunity to watch and be watched without distraction. The first time you do it, if you’re feeling

weird, maybe agree to take turns, one of you begins while the other watches until climax, then the

watcher masturbates in turn. Of course, mutual masturbation at the same time can definitely be fun,

if you allow yourself to be the center of attention, it can be very arousing not only for you, but for

your partner, while they also learn more about your favourite moves.

 

So as you can see, mutual masturbation is a great trick to add to your sexual bag; throw in a toy or

lube, mixing it up can only help you to achieve a better time, and deeper knowledge.

 

 

Read More –

Learn How To Talk Dirty

How To Spice Up Sex Life

How To Increase Sexual Desire

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Great Strategies To Map Out a New Sex Life


 

 

*

Today, we’re going to talk about how to start fresh. You’ve already read the series of articles, and

now you’re ready to put them into action. You have a bunch of ideas swimming around in your head,

a new perspective, and now you want it all to become a reality; but you find yourself held back by

the same old patterns of your relationship, and that you’re scared you may relent and return to

them for good. You may also be embarrassed to begin communicating to your spouse about where

you would like your sex life to go from here. The following are some great strategies for mapping

out that new sex life you want, and getting yourselves off to a fresh start:

1. Talk to Your Partner


Have you sat down with them and really had a good hashing out of

what you’d like for your relationship? Have you tried to tell your

wife that you want to feel more intimate with her? If you want to

change your sex life for the better, you have to take this 

seemingly big step of talking to her about it.

We have to understand the difference between being embarrassed about talking about sex, and

being scared because sex has caused conflict in the past, and we’re worried our partner won’t 

take us seriously, or may assume that we have negative motives.

You cannot control how another person thinks or reacts; but you can begin the conversation and

be truthful. If they don’t react well, resist the urge to defend what you’re saying. Let them speak,

especially in situations where there’s been hurt in the past. Just remember to share what’s in

your heart too.

 

2. Say Sorry For Any Hurt You’ve Caused

It’s absolutely necessary to acknowledge when we have caused hurt to our partner. When I was

first married to my husband, we hurt each other; I hurt him by withholding sex, or by accusing him

of wanting it too much. He hurt me by not considering my feelings, and not taking things more

slowly. At the time, when we were in the midst of this conflict, we could not see that either of us

was doing anything wrong at all. All we could do was know how much the other person hurt us.

Take a look at yourself and see if you are doing things in spite of your partner. Be honest with

yourself. Even if your partner did something really hurtful, like have an affair, or use pornography,

ask yourself: was I keeping sex from him? Was I being fair to him before he hurt me? I’m not

trying to say that you are completely to blame for your spouse’s wrongdoings, not one bit! But it

is imperative that we really look to see if we have anything to apologize for ourselves. Then you

just have to be plain about it, no beating around the bush.

 

3. Forgiving Each Other

 

If your spouse has hurt you by demanding that you do things sexually that you didn’t want to do,

or having a lack of patience, withholding sex, whatever it is, choose to forgive them. Tell your

spouse that they hurt you, and how, then confess to what you have done.

Now, the both of you should choose to put it all behind you, completely. I had to do this in my own

marriage, I had to say, “I don’t have the right to hold this against you anymore,” or else we could

have never moved forward. Every time we had an argument about sex, everything from the past

would be drudged up, then we couldn’t solve anything. So we had to forgive each other for past

transgressions once and for all, it is in the past.

 

 

4. Gain a New Perspective of Your Spouse

Now that you’ve settle all slights against each other, really commit to

see each other in a different light. Maybe you’ve always had a nagging

feeling that your wife doesn’t really want you. Maybe you’re not sure

whether or not she’s ever had an orgasm with you. You need to put

these doubts and fears behind you both.

If your spouse tells you that  they want to start over, believe them! Don’t try to doubt their motives,

and try to act as if you’re starting all over again, rediscovering what it is that brought you two

together in the first place.

Picture this: a wife realizes that she’s been holding back sex from her husband. She wants to change

things. At the same time, he’s been holding back affection because he isn’t feeling loved. They both

tell this to each other, then resolve to move past this together. They are now both excited to move

forward together!

For a few nights, things are fantastic. Then one night, she’s too tired and has a bit of a headache.

She just wants to go to sleep. He thinks, “oh wonderful, we’re not getting anywhere. She said she

wanted things to change, but she’s back to her usual tricks. This is never going to last.” He gets

angry. She knows that he’s upset, and she thinks, “he doesn’t care that I’ve worked hard all week,

and just need a good sleep. Sex is really the only thing he can think about!” And then they’re back 

to their old ways.

If your spouse has told you they want things to change, then from that point onward, see them

through that perspective, not the old ones. If she’s said to you she wants things to be different,

and things are becoming better, then a few nights here and there that she has a headache, or is

really tired, shouldn’t be a big deal for you. If you let yourself obsess about what happened in

the past, then it will be a big deal. So view them in that different light, and believe in the best

of them.

 

5. Switch It Up

The last point is easier to do if you are actually changing what the two of you do in the bedroom.

I suggested you both take fifteen minutes to reawaken your body by letting him just touch you,

then you just touch him? It’s actually a great exercise to do every once in a while, and when

you’re starting over again, it’s good to do it A LOT! It really helps for you both to discover, and

rediscover things about each other, and it also helps you to not just do the “usual” by either

jumping straight for sex, or by touching each other in ways which you thought were pleasurable

to the other person, but which actually are not. Getting things going in new and different ways,

reacquainting yourselves with the other’s body as if doing so for the first time, helps you both

to trust each other when you are trying out something new.

Then jump right in to doing those new things! If you’ve both tended to make love in a specific way,

try something different. Do it in a different position, different room, different time of day. It

doesn’t matter how you change things up, just change things so it feels new and exciting. Don’t

allow yourselves to get back into thinking there are negative motives behind the other’s actions.

You need to build up the trust, especially where there’s been conflict in the past, and you need to

put it behind you. Shake things up so that you both know this is a new chapter in your book. You’re

walking down a new path now, with different scenery, and this is a fantastic thing!

I received an email recently from a woman who has not had sex since her youngest child was born

quite a while ago. She realizes that this is not good, and she wants to create an intimate and

sexual marriage again. But how does she change this situation around? And how often should they

have sex now, since they haven’t in quite some time?

 

What I would answer is that they don’t make any judgements based

on what’s happened in the past. Do not even consider the past. Just

think of what an intimate sex life should look like. Think of how you

want to be together, and then do exactly that! It may feel awkward,

especially if sex has been out of the game for a while.

Just concentrate on what’s ahead of you both, not what’s behind you.

 

If it helps, look to God and ask Him to show you what your new love life could be, and travel

towards that vision. Don’t allow yourselves to be held back by what you’ve done and encountered

in the past.

 

6. Giving Grace to Each Other

If your partner is saying that they’re completely committed to this change, that they want to grow,

you need to understand that it’s not going to happen overnight for either of you. They may still be

holding onto old thought and action patterns because it’s what they’ve known for a long time, it’s

going to take time to get passed it. If there’s healing that needs to happen, it is not going to happen

in an instant. Don’t allow the fact that things won’t completely change this very minute make you

believe that your partner is not trying. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Just keep loving them,

and keep forging ahead!

One more thing: really work on creating the best friendship you can with your partner. If you both

can keep laughing and sharing things together, sex will be much easier. If you continue to make a

point to have fun together, then you’ll be easily able to talk to each other about the important

stuff, and when you get worried about the sexual aspect of your relationship, it’s easier to bring

up because there’s a strong foundation of friendship already there to support you.

 

More Similar Posts:

Making Your Relationship More Romantic

Good Sexual Communication Skills

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